Holiday Drink-Of-The-Week: Yuletidal Wave

10 servings

* 20 ounces pineapple juice
* 7 1/2 ounces fresh lemon juice, or to taste
* 2 1/2 ounces rich turbinado simple syrup, or to taste (see Note)
* 5 ounces brandy
* 10 ounces bourbon
* 10 ounces aged amber rum, such as Cockspur 12
* 10 ounces Rothman & Winter Orchard Pear Liqueur
* 5 ounces Licor 43
* 2 1/2 ounces St. Elizabeth Allspice Dram2 pears, diced into 1/2-inch pieces
* 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon, for garnish

Instructions: Combine all ingredients except pear and cinnamon in an airtight glass container and stir to combine. Refrigerate until ready to use (no more than 4 hours). At serving time, pour over ice into a punch bowl and add pear cubes and sprinkle cinnamon on top.

Note: To make rich turbinado simple syrup, add 2 parts turbinado sugar to 1 part water and boil until dissolved. Store in an airtight container.

Eagles Of Death Metal set for February tour

Solana Beach, CA Belly Up Tavern (February 3)
Hollywood, CA Henry Fonda Theater (4)
San Francisco, CA the Fillmore (5)
Reno, NV New Oasis (6)
Hard Rock Hotel, Wasted Space Las Vegas, NV (7)
Scottsdale, AZ The Martini Ranch (9)
Oklahoma City, OK The Diamond Ballroom (12)
Little Rock, AR Juanita's Cantina (13)
Columbia, MO The Blue Note (14)
The Eagles Club Milwaukee, WI (15)
Cincinnatti, OH 20th Century Theater (17)
Cleveland, OH Agora Theater (18)
Pittsburgh, PA Mr. Smalls Theater (19)

Could the Electric Grid Support Far More Wind and Solar?

The electric grid may be able to handle more wind and solar power — way more — than previously thought, according to a new preliminary study.

The commonly accepted wisdom in the energy industry is that the grid could only draw something like 20 percent of its power from wind and solar resources before encountering major reliability problems. But the new power flow simulation, presented for the first time this week at the American Geophysical Union meeting, shows that, at least in California, the power grid might be able to handle three times that much renewable energy without encountering major trouble pushing electrons around the state.

Elegant Teapot Lets You See the Leaves Unfold, Infuse the Water

No matter how many hours you've whiled away in tearooms and chashitsu, you've never seen a teapot like this.

At rest, it looks like a modernist sculpture of a dachshund. Come tea time, you flip it on its rear (that's what she said), unhinge the spout, and drop in loose tea leaves. Add hot water — up to 11 ounces, enough for two cups — then kick back and watch the leaves dance as they turn your brew the exact depth of color you desire.

Crafted from Pyrex glass and stainless steel, the Sorapot will likely outlive its owner — which is good, because it's designed to age gracefully, with each pot developing a unique patina.

You'll be able to pass it on to the grandkids as a suitably old-looking heirloom. A model with a brushed finish is $200 ($50 less than the mirrored finish model).

Big City, Brighter Lights: Gotham's New LED Streetlamp Plan

After half a century of walking their dogs under the same old streetlamps, New Yorkers are ready for a new age of enlightenment. Gotham's own Office for Visual Interaction won an international competition to design a replacement. Its inspiration: LED headlights. "We took the same idea and made it vertical," OVI's Enrique Peiniger says. The new lamppost's 4-to 6-foot head boasts up to 100 LEDs with multiple lenses that can be configured to dial in specific lighting "footprints" of uniform brightness. For New York, the coverage patterns will be tailored for three distinct situations—park, street corner, and mid-block.

Top: Side View
Bottom: Bottom View

How many workers will it take to change the bulbs? A lot fewer. LEDs last twice as long as the current high—pressure sodium bulbs. Oh, and they burn 30 percent less energy. Plus, the fixture's modular design makes it easy to swap out chips as LED technology improves. OVI is putting the finishing touches on its prototypes, and if tests go well next year, the lamps will soon start lighting up the city that never sleeps.

Vice Squad

Hey, baby man. You don’t need to put four things on your head (including two hats?), but if you do, you might not want to draw attention to yourself by picking the living shit out of your nose. We are all looking at you and thinking about your dad and condoms.

Stuff White People Like - #14 Having Black Friends

Since we are on the verge of electing a black president, it seems important to explain why white people want black friends. Every white person wants a black friend like Barack: good-looking, well-spoken, and non-violent. Obviously, whites want black friends so as not to appear racist (see earlier Obama post). However, if we dig deeper what we notice about white people is not if they have black friends but in fact, how many black friends they have. White people like numbers. They like to count things like stars in the sky and the death toll at Mt. Everest and the number of times they’ve seen Tori Amos and/or Phish in concert. Counting the number of black friends is then clearly a divine imperative. The number of black friends white people possess also illustrates their comfort with black culture. Here’s a handy guide to the number system:

1—The white novice. This black friend is the gateway to helping white people understand gang signs and Vietnamese beauty supply stores. This black friend is probably the only black friend for many white people and when they all hang out (because white people hang out) they bring their “mutual” black friend with them.

2—The white black club-goer. Two black friends serve as bodyguards when white people go to black clubs to see how exactly one “pops, drops and locks” it.

3 -4—The white BET-er. See Justin Timberlake/ Robin Thicke/ Jon B for more information. For old school reference, see Michael McDonald.

5 and up—Impossible.

Fail of the Day

More ridiculous Batman casting rumors

This is somehow worse than the Cher, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Johnny Depp rumors.

This batch includes Eddie Murphy, Shia LaDouche, and Rachel Weisz playing The Riddler, Robin, and Catwoman, respectively.

Just absurd and 100% wrong.

Come on people.

Vice Squad

I wonder how tough guy here would feel if he knew how many gay dudes are going to jerk off to this photo.

Stuff White People Like - #12 Non-Profit Organizations

It is a known fact that white people make up 95% of non-profit organizations. They can’t get enough of them.

They like working there for a number of reasons, the most important of which is that it gives them a sense of self importance. This is important so that they can tell their friends and parents that they are “helping” society, and not just working to make money.

But the sweet side of non profits is that you are paid a competitive salary for your field. So you can be working at a non-profit and still make six figures, and you don’t have accountability or pressure. Again, like most things with white people - you can’t lose!

Fail of the Day

LightDrops umbrella classes up your act, generates electricity

The brainchild of designer Sang-Kyun Park, LightDrops is an umbrella that uses the piezoelectric effect of polyvinylidene fluoride (PVDF) to transform falling rain into electricity, which is then used to light LEDs installed on the umbrella's underside. The heavier the rain falls (and the harder it hits the umbrella), the brighter the light shines.

I'm sure Kanye West already owns ten.

bmi launches in-flight communications trial, voice gratefully excluded

The airline has just announced that it will soon launch a six month trial of the OnAir service, though not surprisingly, voice calls will not be a part of said run.

Instead, users in a single A320 making loops from London to Moscow will be able to send text messages whilst airborne, and in case that's too boring, users with GSM data cards will also be able to hop online.

Oil Is Not the Climate Change Culprit — It's All About Coal

Maybe your old truck isn't responsible for destroying the planet after all.

New climate change scenarios quantify the idea that oil is only a small component of the total global warming problem — the real problem is coal.

If the world replaced all of its oil usage with carbon-neutral energy sources, ecologist Kenneth Caldeira of Stanford University calculated that it would only buy us about 10 years before coal emissions warmed the planet to what many scientists consider dangerous levels.

Columbia Records Reportedly Dumping Rick Rubin

Sometimes-right Fox News columnist Roger Friedman reports today that Sony could be close to removing bearded mystic Rick Rubin from his post as the co-head of Columbia Records.

Since Rubin started last May, not only has he inexplicably moved the money-troubled company to a more expensive office and failed to sell CDs, he's also, hilariously, been producing hit albums for other labels.

First U.S. Face Transplant Described

Only the upper eyelids, forehead, lower lip and jaw are hers. The rest of her face comes from a cadaver.

In a 22-hour operation, surgeons have given nearly an entire new face to a woman with such severe facial damage she could not eat on her own or breathe without a hole in her windpipe, transplant doctors at the Cleveland Clinic said Wednesday.

Jeff Buckley compilation set for re-release

A collection of Jeff Buckley's songs is set for re-release next year.

The record, 'So Real: Songs From Jeff Buckley', features a selection of tracks from the late singer's brief career.

The album, out January 19, features a live acoustic version of 'So Real' that was only available as a promo single previously.

The full tracklisting of the collection is:

'Last Goodbye'
'Lover, You Should Have Come Over'
'Forget Her'
'Eternal Life' (Road Version)
'Dream Brother' (Alternate Take)
'The Sky Is A Landfill'
'Everybody Here Wants You'
'So Real' (Live and Acoustic In Japan)
'Mojo Pin' (Live at Sin-e)
'Vancouver'
'Je N’en Connais Pas La Fin' (Live at Sin-e)
'Grace'
'Hallelujah'
'I Know It's Over' (radio session)

Jeff Buckley, meanwhile, is set to reach the U.K. Top Ten for the first time this week (December 21) with his cover of Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah'.

The singer's version has gained support after fans objected to the track being covered by the winner of this year's 'X Factor' competition, Alexandra Burke.

Buckley's version, which was originally released on his 1994 album 'Grace', features on the new compilation.

Do-It-Yourself Solar Panel Kits

Johanson and the guys at Solar Electrical Vehicles will slap a solar panel on just about anything, and they've developed a DIY kit for the Toyota Prius that he says provides up to 20 miles of range and boosts fuel economy up to 29 percent.

Flight of the Conchords Premieres a Month Early Online

Click here to watch!

In-car fingerprint scanner keeps drunks, thieves from starting your car

Two students at a Chinese university have invented a device that detects high blood alcohol levels by inserting a middle finger directly onto a fingerprint scanner.

This development bodes well for other hand gesture controls in future car innovations. We might have an upside-down touch screen where the car is started by 'curling your index finger towards you in a summoning motion,' or a by flashing a simple thumbs up at scanning robot.

More deceased taking cellphones, PMPs to their graves

Losers!

Anecdotal evidence suggests being buried with a favorite tech device is on the upswing. The Future Laboratory, a London-based think tank, has commented on the behavior, noting it in places like the United Kingdom, Australia and South Africa. But experts are seeing it happen in the United States as well.

Vice Squad

What do you call it when a trophy wife from the 90s gets dumped and comes back to the clubs for another round? You don’t call it. You let it blow you in the bathroom and you never call it again.

Stuff White People Like - #8 Barack Obama

Because white people are afraid that if they don’t like him that they will be called racist.

Fail of the Day

LightSpeed binoculars transmit video and audio via Infrared

Voyeurs unite!

It's not often that tremendous advancements are made in the realm of binoculars, but these LightSpeed specs are something special.

Aimed primarily at military / surveillance uses, this device is able to transmit video and audio via Infrared, theoretically enabling rooftop spies on opposite buildings to communicate.

Furthermore, this method of communication is undetectable and untraceable.

You're neighbors are going to love you.

AT&T gets $150 refurb'd iPhone 3G in stock

AT&T now has refurbished iPhone 3Gs in stock for a mere $150.

AT&T claims the refurbs were returned within the 30 day trial period, are quality tested, and might be just a little scuffed up.

If you're really feeling wild, there's also a 16GB refurb available for $250.

Apple and AT&T are being a little shady on the warranty, stating "90 days or more," as opposed to the standard one year.

If you're waiting for WalMart's $99 iPhone, don't hold your breath.

Los Angeles Museum Proposes to Save Another

On a day that its director was said to be negotiating his resignation and a rival museum presented a possible merger proposal, the financially troubled Museum of Contemporary Art groped its way toward its future.

The Museum of Contemporary Art is in the midst of a financial emergency. It has in recent years spent substantial portions of its endowment to finance current operations, in opposition to standard museum guidelines, while the recent decline in financial markets has further eroded its financial cushion. People who have been briefed on the museum’s finances said recently that its endowment fund had been reduced to a few million dollars, down from more than $40 million near the beginning of the decade.

Crime is getting really cool

First art heists of priceless works from international museums, then pirates taking back the high seas, now jewel thieves making off with $105 million in diamonds from Harry Winston.

Next thing you know we'll have good old fashion train robbings with men on horse back riding up along side and boarding to collect everyone's iPods and credit cards.

Exciting times, people!

Dark Energy Stunts Galaxies’ Growth

The same mystery force that is speeding up the expansion of the universe is also stunting the growth of the objects inside it, astronomers said Tuesday.

After bulking up rapidly in the first 10 billion years of cosmic time, clusters of galaxies, the cloudlike swarms that are the largest conglomerations of matter in the universe, have grown anemically or not at all during the last five billion years, like sullen teenagers who suddenly refuse to eat.

That is a wonderful, wonderful simile.

Dikshit Guilty of Internet Gambling

I really don't find this story interesting at all.

What I do find interesting is that there is actually a person alive with the last name "Dikshit".

I mean, seriously?

Seriously?

Apple announces final MacWorld, Steve Jobs won't deliver keynote

For the last 10 years, attending Steven P. Jobs’s annual keynote address at the Macworld Expo in San Francisco has been a sacred pilgrimage for Apple enthusiasts. That ritual has now ended.

Apple announced on Tuesday that Mr. Jobs would not appear at the Macworld conference in January and that the company’s presentation would instead be delivered by Philip W. Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president for worldwide product marketing. Apple also said it would withdraw from the conference after this year’s event.

The news unleashed a wave of speculation among Apple fans about what this portends for the computer maker’s lineup of products — and for Mr. Jobs’s health, which has been subjected to intense scrutiny in the last few years.

Mercedes-Benz launches triple-threat BlueZERO electric vehicle platform

The series will encompass three cars: the fully-electric E-CELL (possibly featuring Tesla batteries), with a 120 mile range; the hydrogen-powered F-CELL, with a 248 mile range; and the hybrid E-CELL PLUS that, like the Volt, will carry a gasoline engine to recharge the batteries and provide up to 370 miles of non-stop motoring (10 more than Chevy's offering).

The trio are set to release in 2010, which should be a historic year for the auto industry... assuming we still have an auto industry in 2010.

Vice Squad

First the boomers shove their childhood down our throats then we have to hear about their college days every three hours and now that it’s hot out we have to stare at their sweaty asses THEIR LITERALLY SWEATY ASSES everywhere we go.

Stuff White People Like - #7 Diversity

White people love ethnic diversity, but only as it relates to restaurants.

Many white people from cities like Los Angeles, San Francisco and New York will spend hours talking about how great it is that they can get Sushi and Tacos on the same street. But then they send their kids to private school with other rich white kids, and live in neighborhoods like Santa Monica or Pacific Palisades.

But it’s important to note that white people to do not like to be called out on this fact. If you run an ethnic restaurant you can be guaranteed repeat business and huge tips if you act like your white customers are adventurous and cultured for eating food that it isn’t sandwiches or pasta.

Fail of the Day

Teen Smoking Rates Decline

Teen smoking rates dropped in 2008 and are now lower than they’ve been since the early 1990s, according to an annual survey of adolescent behavior.

Just 12.6 percent of high-school students this year said they’d had a cigarette in the last month, down from 13.6 percent last year, according to researchers at the University of Michigan, who conducted the survey.

Many teenagers have negative attitudes toward cigarette smoking. The vast majority said they’d rather not date someone who smoked and two-thirds said that “becoming a smoker reflects poor judgment,” according to the survey.

Living With In-Laws Linked to Heart Risks in Japanese Women

Japanese women are generally not at high risk for heart attacks -- unless they live with in-laws, according to a new study.

Married Japanese women who live with both their husbands and a set of parents -- in Japan, that almost always means the husband’s parents, according to the researchers -- were three times more likely to suffer a heart attack than those living just with their husbands.

Diesel, Made Simply From Coffee Grounds

In research that touches on two of Americans’ great obsessions — coffee and cars — scientists at the University of Nevada, Reno, have made diesel fuel from used coffee grounds.

The technique is not difficult, they report in The Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, and there is so much coffee around that several hundred million gallons of biodiesel could potentially be made annually.

Musician stopped from selling soul on eBay

A musician has been banned from selling his soul on eBay to fund his experimental band Paradigm.

Dante Knoxx was told by eBay bosses that he couldn't sell it on the site just two hours before the auction was due to close.

The 24 year-old from Bournemouth got no offers for his soul, which had a starting bid of £25,000.50, but received a lot of interest.

He told The Independent: "I had lots of emails asking if I was serious and religious groups telling me I couldn't do that - others wanted to talk about my soul."

Knoxx was offering the buyer money from anything he or the band made, annual reports about his soul, as well as a birthday card each year.

The Strokes' frontman to appear on Andy Samberg's new comedy album

The Strokes' frontman Julian Casablancas is set to appear on a comedy album, scheduled to be released on February 10.

The singer has teamed up with 'Saturday Night Live' trio The Lonely Island, aka writers Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone and cast-member Andy Samberg, to record 'Boombox' for the album entitled 'Incredibad'.

The trio have already made waves with their digital shorts for the TV show including 'Dick In A Box', featuring Justin Timberlake and 'Natalie Raps', featuring actress Natalie Portman.

In addition to breakout track 'Lazy Sunday', the record will feature appearances from Maroon 5's Adam Levine, T-Pain and Norah Jones.

The trio told Pitchfork that the Casablancas collaboration came about thanks to becoming friends with The Strokes after they performed on 'Saturday Night Live'.

The Virgins expand North American tour

San Diego, CA The Casbah (December 15)
Los Angeles, CA The Troubadour (17)
San Francisco, CA Popscene (18)
Portland, OR Doug Fir Lounge (19)
Seattle, WA Chop Suey (20)
Philadelphia, PA Johnny Brenda's (January 21)
Washington, DC Rock and Roll Hotel (22)
Chapel Hill, NC Local 506 (23)
Athens, GA Tasty World (24)
Atlanta, GA Drunken Unicorn (25)
Nashville, TN 3rd & Lindsley (26)
Cleveland, OH Grog Shop (28)
Chicago, IL Schubas Tavern (29)
St. Louis, MO The Gargoyle Club (30)
Ames, IA Maintenance Shop (31)
Minneapolis, MN 7th Street Entry (February 2)
Madison, WI The Annex (3)
Ann Arbor, MI Blind Pig (4)
Toronto, Ontario El Mocambo (5)
Montreal, Quebec Les Saints (6)
Boston, MA Great Scott (7)
Brooklyn, NY Music Hall Of Williamsburg (14)
Miami, FL Langerado Music Festival (March 6)

MTV comes to Marin

Rumor has it MTV is casting for a new reality show in the vein of 'Laguna Beach' and 'The Hills' that will be set north of San Francisco over the Golden Gate bridge in Marin County.

The show is set to be titled 'The County', and will again document the life of wealthy, attractive young people and the social drama that ensues.

Vice Squad

Stuff White People Like - #118 Ugly Sweater Parties

Over the course of a calendar year, white people have ample opportunities for themed parties and drinking: Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day, and Cinco De Mayo are the most popular officially sanctioned holidays. But that does not mean that white people shy away from creating their own impromptu themes for parties and evenings- mustache party! ’90s prom! Designing Women!

During the month of December, white people face an especially difficult challenge. This is the year when parties and drinking are most appropriate, but the most obvious theme of Christmas must be avoided. This is because Christmas forces Christianity upon others, and though their ancestors had no problem with this activity, modern white people are quite disgusted by the idea. Hanukkah parties are fun, but a bit too exclusive, and a Kwanzaa Party requires an enormous amount of physical, mental, and ironic labor that can only be done by the most elite of white people.

White people needed to find a party that was completely without religious affiliations, but still connected enough to the idea of Christmas that they could serve eggnog and hot toddies. The answer: ugly sweater parties.

These parties feature festive drinks, Christmas music by Sufjan Stevens, and most importantly, intentionally hideous sweaters. These ugly sweaters provide white people with an invisible shield that protects them from any criticism that might emerge if any Christianity accidentally slips into the evening.

“Hey man, I love that Burl Ives song, but um, you let Silent Night slip into the mix. That’s kind of awkward because, you know, the Crusades?”
White person points to sweater and makes a funny face.
Order is restored.

If you find yourself invited to one of these parties, you must begin your preparations immediately. Craftier white people have been searching used clothing stores since last Christmas, and so you should not expect to find anything of significant ironic value. Instead, your best hope is to see if any of your family members have an old sweater lying around.

“Hey man, nice sweater. It’s so ugly.”
“Yeah, when my family first got to this country we had to shop at Goodwill, this is the first one my father bought to get him through his first winter here. Good thing they didn’t have these parties back then, right? He would have died.”
“Geez, man, I’m sorry, you can cut in line for egg nog.”

Fail of the Day