The best place to be on the best night of the year. Triple Cobra takes the stage at 10:30pm. Don't miss it.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Halloween in San Francisco
The best place to be on the best night of the year. Triple Cobra takes the stage at 10:30pm. Don't miss it.
TiVo Set to Stream Netflix Movies by Christmas
Four years in the making, the TiVo/Netflix streaming partnership is finally ready for prime time.Tivo began testing software Thursday and expects to have the entire Netflix streaming collection available to subscribers of both services by early December.
The new partnership gives TiVo subscibers access to the 12,000 streamable films and TV shows previously available to only those Netflix members with PCs.
Netflix announced just days ago that Mac users will also soon be able to stream their queue.
The Success of Early Voting
A lot is going wrong in this election, from malfunctioning electronic voting machines to voters being purged mistakenly from the rolls.But one thing is going very right: early voting. In the more than 30 states that allow early or no-excuse absentee voting, voters have been casting ballots in record numbers.
Japan Offers Stimulus Package to Spur Its Economy
Japan announced a stimulus package on Thursday that includes $51 billion to help households and businesses, the boldest of several measures that officials took to try to stanch the fallout from the global credit crisis.
Reaching Nirvana
A new book, 'Cobain Unseen' by Charles R. Cross, unearths a welter of compelling detail about the Nirvana frontman's pre-fame existence.
8 Things to Expect in the Next iPhone Update
Rumors so far include Google Street View, Direct Podcast Downloads, Line-In Support, Location Sharing, Safari Tweaks, and more.
AT&T officially delivers free WiFi to iPhone & BlackBerry users
All iPhone & iPhone 3G customers will now have free (and seemingly limitless) access to AT&T WiFi hotspots across the U.S. -- Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, the whole lot.Additionally, the carrier has welcomed select BlackBerry users -- that's the Bold for now, the Pearl 8120 & 8820 "later this year" -- into the same deal, though the official verbiage mentions that an "unlimited data plan" is required.
Vice Squad
Stuff White People Like - #107 Self Aware Hip Hop References
Among the wrong kind of white people, there are few more hated than the wigger or whitethug. Though it is very acceptable and common for the right kind of white people to dress and act as though they were Japanese, Chinese, or European, it is completely unacceptable for them to act like rappers.
This distaste caused a dilemma for white people who had to show both that they loved hip hop but also that they were aware they were white. The brilliant solution they came up with was to appropriate hip hop words and mannerisms and filter them through a white appropriateness system.
For example, white people find it particularly hilarious to take slang and enunciate every word perfectly.
“Homey, that bernaise sauce you made is wack. Do you know what I am saying? For Real.”
“Well, I used a different type of butter. I switched the style up, so let the haters hate and I’ll watch the deliciousness pile up.”
Since the above exchange involves people who are very aware of their whiteness it is hilarious, but if it were to be said by wiggers, it would be tragic. The difference is subtle but essential.
This is also an excellent way to make white people like you. If you can recite rap lyrics with perfect enunciation, they will always find it funny. As a rule of thumb, the more popular the rapper, the funnier it gets. Best options: 50 Cent, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, or Jay Z. Note: avoid Kanye West as the irony of reciting his lyrics with perfect English is not as great.
In terms of physical actions, there are few things white people enjoy more than throwing up fake gang signs in photos. Again, the same rules apply: if it is done by wiggers it is tragic, if it’s done by the right kind of white people, it’s hilarious. It’s not a good idea to mention how these signs have often resulted in awful, senseless deaths– that will ruin the joke.
In both cases, the actions are done in hopes that a white person will be recognized as “one of the good ones,” who love hip hop, but don’t try to appropriate it in any non-hilarious ways.
In both cases, your best response is to say “did you go to the last Dead Prez/Roots/Mos Def/Twaleb Kwali/Michael Franti concert? It was incredible. I smoked weed and kept this one finger up for almost an hour!”
Though this information has very little use in and of itself, it could be the final piece in the puzzle of cementing your white friendship. At the very least, it is a guaranteed way to help your progress.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
West Side Story revival gets a cast
Complete casting has been announced for the upcoming Broadway revival of the classic musical West Side Story, which is scheduled to begin performances at the Palace Theatre Feb. 23, 2009.Between West Side Story and Will Ferrell's You're Welcome America. A Final Night with George W Bush, New York's looking like a must-visit in early 2009.
Christopher Nolan plays hard-to-get
The Batman Begins and Dark Knight director tells the LA Times he's not sure he'll direct the third installment.Yeah. Right.
'Milk' premieres at San Francisco's Castro Theater
History came back home to where it started three decades ago.
Depression During Pregnancy Can Double Risk of Preterm Delivery
Depressed pregnant women have twice the risk of preterm delivery than pregnant women with no symptoms of depression, according to a new study by the Kaiser Permanente Division of Research.
London leads world with most WiFi access
London continues to be the world capital of WiFi with 12,276 access points, according to the freshest installment of the annual Wireless Security Survey conducted by RSA, beating New York City by roughly 3,000.Paris rules the year-over-year increase category, however, with a shocking 543 percent gain over last year, while London and New York saw much slower increases.
NYC did manage to capture the top spot in the coveted 'corporate encryption' category, with about 97 percent of corporate access points now employing some type of encryption, while about 20 percent of London's business access points remain totally, completely, shamefully unprotected.
Audi's New A1 Sportback Hybrid
In hybrid mode the five door 'sportback' will go from 0-62 MPH in 7.9 seconds, reach a top speed of 124 MPH and squeeze up to 72.4 miles from a gallon of fuel. When in electric mode, however, the vehicle will take you more than 60 miles on a single charge.The adjustable drivetrain / drive shaft / shock absorber system allows drivers to choose between two modes: sport mode (for optimum acceleration) and efficiency mode. The latter not only makes best use of the lithium-ion battery but also ties into the vehicle's on-board navigation, taking your route (and the car's altitude) into consideration when computing things like power usage and regeneration phases.
The A1 also allows select cellphones to act as a mobile control unit for WLAN access to the vehicle's navigation, audio and remote monitoring of the security system.
And so much more...
Don Draper Doppelgänger
If you're going to drink scotch, smoke cigarettes, and slap girls on the ass all day, the least you can do is look the part.
The Killers announce 2009 tour dates
Denver, CO Magness Arena Ritchie Center (January 17)Minneapolis, MN Northrop Auditorium (January 19)
Chicago, IL UIC Pavilion (January 20)
Ypsilanti, MI EMU Convocation Center (January 22)
Toronto, ON Air Canada Centre (January 23)
New York, NY Madison Square Garden (January 25)
Boston, MA Agganis Arena (January 26)
Fairfax, VA George Mason University Patriot (January 28)
North Myrtle Beach, SC House of Blues (January 29)
Atlanta, GA Atlanta Civic Center (January 30)
Nashville, TN Grand Ole Opry House (January 31)
Houston, TX Verizon Wireless Theater (February 2)
Austin, TX Frank Erwin Center (February 23)
Grand Prairie, TX Nokia Theatre at Grand Prairie (February 4)
Little Joy announces U.S. tour
Saint Paul, MN Station Four (November 7)Chicago, IL Subterranean (November 8)
Detroit, MI Magic Stick (November 9)
Pittsburgh, PA Hard Rock (November 11)
Philadelphia, PA Khyber Pass (November 12)
New York, NY Mercury Lounge (November 13)
Hoboken, NJ Maxwell's (November 14)
Cambridge, MA TT The Bear's Place (November 16)
Washington, DC Black Cat (Backstage) (November 18)
Atlanta, GA Atlanta Room at Smith's Olde Bar (November 20)
Nashville, TN Exit/In (November 21)
St. Louis, MO Duck Room at Blueberry Hill (November 22)
Lawrence, KS Jackpot Music Hall (November 24)
Dallas, TX The Lounge on Elm Street (November 26)
Houston, TX Warehouse Live (November 28)
Austin, TX The Parish (November 29)
Free WiFi for iPhone users at every Starbucks
iPhone users will apparently get two hours of free WiFi access per day at Starbucks and other locations across the country.
Vice Squad
When one girl in the room understands the merits of squishing her pudge around, everyone else can dress like Frankenstein and give it up to anyone who asks, they’re still invisible.
Stuff White People Like - #64 Recycling
Recycling is a part of a larger theme of stuff white people like: saving the earth without having to do that much.
Recycling is fantastic! You can still buy all the stuff you like (bottled water, beer, wine, organic iced tea, and cans of all varieties) and then when you’re done you just put it in a DIFFERENT bin than where you would throw your other garbage. And boom! Environment saved! Everyone feels great, it’s so easy!
This is important because all white feel guilty about producing waste. It doesn’t stop them from doing it, but they feel guilty about it. Deep down, they believe they should be like the Native Americans and use every part of the product or beast they have consumed. Though for many white people, this simply means putting plastic bags into a special drawer where they will accumulate until they are eventually used to carry some gym clothes or bathing suit. Ultimately this drawer will get full and only be emptied when the person moves to a new house. Advanced white recyclers will uses these grocery bags as garbage bags.
If you are in a situation where a white person produces an empty bottle, watch their actions. They will first say “where’s the recycling?” If you say “we don’t recycle,” prepare for some awkwardness. They will make a move to throw the bottle away, they will hesitate, and then ultimately throw the bottle away. But after they return look in their eyes. All they can see is the bottle lasting forever in a landfill, trapping small animals. It will eat at them for days, at this point you should say “I’m just kidding, the recycling is under the sink. Can you fish out that bottle?” And they will do it 100% of the time!
The best advice is that if you plan to deal with white people on regular basis either start recycling or purchase a large blue bin so that they can believe they are recycling.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Massive Electric Vehicle Charging Network planned for Australia
U.S.-based Better Place is planning to outfit Australia's three largest cities with 200,000 and 250,000 charging stations a piece.That, the company says, would cost $1 billion Australian dollars (or roughly $667 million U.S.), which is where Australian power company AGL and finance group Macquarie Capital come in.
The company's would also apparently scatter about 150 battery switch stations throughout each city, and drivers would have to sign up for cellphone-like contracts to make use of the network.
As lofty a goal as that may seem, the companies seem fairly confident that they'll be able to pull it off, and that the charging stations could be in place as soon as 2012 -- after which, they hope, folks will finally start buying electric vehicles en masse.
Now if only the U.S. would follow suit.
The Knife's Karin Dreijer Fires Up Solo Project
Karin Dreijer Andersson-- the female half of Swedish siblings the Knife-- has emerged with a solo project.
Fever Ray, as she's calling herself, plans to have an album out in early 2009 on Rabid Records-- which probably goes some to explain why the Knife haven't been up to much of anything in a while.
Thus far Dreijer's only sharing one tease of a track, "If I Had a Heart (Instrumental Edit)", which hints at something slightly more organic than the frigid, nocturnal sonic landscapes occupied by Dreijer's other current project.
Google’s Green Agenda Could Pay Off
The Internet search and advertising giant, is increasingly looking to the energy sector as a potential business opportunity.
Tesla's 4-door, all-electric Model S sports sedan
The forthcoming Model S is an all-electric, five passenger sports sedan that will ride on a platform developed entirely by Tesla.The 2010-bound auto will get around 240 miles per charge while still doing the zero to sixty in under six ticks, and the starting at around $60,000.
iPhone software 2.2 features Google Street View and mass transit directions
The latest builds of iPhone OS 2.2 seeded to developers have Street View, as well as the ability to give mass transit directions.Line-in audio is also now supported in the SDK, giving developers the ability to create voice recorders and other interesting audio applications.
No word yet on when 2.2 will actually arrive.
Stuff White People Like - #112 Hummus
When it comes to food, all white people are either allergic to/or have stopped eating everything you consider delicious. It’s a good idea to come to grips with the concept, because it will save you a lot of headaches.
But when white people come to your house, you are forced to deal with the problem in a very real, very immediate sense. You will be trapped with their dietary restrictions and they will be trapped with the contents of your kitchen. You can mediate this situation by stocking your pantry with dozens of complicated and expensive snacks. Or you could take the easy way out and just buy a tub of hummus.
All white people like hummus. In fact, if you find a white person who does not like hummus then they probably just haven’t tasted it or they are the wrong kind of white person. In either case, they are probably not someone that you want to know.
Putting out a plate of hummus and pita makes white people very comfortable. It reminds them of home since at any given time a white person has hummus in their fridge. Even the most barren white refrigerator will have a package of the stuff next to an empty Brita filter.
White people are also relieved when they see hummus because they recognize the contents immediately.
Though you would never be able to guess it by their actions, white people are very concerned with perceived as “annoying” or “that guy” who has to ask about the ingredients of everything they eat. However great their concern over this, they are still more afraid of being “that guy” that eats High Fructose Corn Syrup or pork.
Familiarize yourself with this information as it will play itself out every time you try to pick a restaurant with a white person.
You: “Let’s get Chinese food”
White Person #1: “Um, yeah, last time I was there I tried to ask the waitress if she prepared the pork dumplings in the same pot as the vegetable dumplings and I didn’t really get an answer that was concrete enough for me to feel comfortable eating there again.”
By providing your guests with a plate of hummus, you can guarantee that you won’t have to have this infuriating conversation in your own home. But that doesn’t mean you are safe. To cover all your bases, it is always a good idea keep some Gluten free crackers in your pantry.
That way if you bring out a plate of hummus and pita and discover that one of the white people cannot eat gluten, then you are ready to pull off a truly incredible move.
First, pretend not to understand why the person cannot eat wheat. Then go back to the kitchen and return with the gluten-free crackers. Everyone will be impressed by your ability to psych out people with food allergies.
Wait one week and relive the story with different white people, it will make them laugh and secretly wish to be invited to your next hummus eating party.
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- Ryan Monahan
- is a Musician and Copywriter living in San Francisco, California.